More than Memory Loss: How Dementia Can Affect Communication
You might guess that memory issues are the heart of dementia, but for lots of people living with symptoms, communication can be their biggest challenge.
They struggle to understand some words, have trouble finding the right way to respond, or find it hard to keep up with conversations.
And if the people around them don’t understand what’s happening behind the scenes, then the social side of life can start to fall off the map.
After all, when you’re managing a busy life, career and household, and have aging parents added to the mix, it’s easy to assume that Mom just didn’t feel like talking today. Or maybe she never wanted to go to that party in the first place.
“That’s why she sat in the corner by herself,” says your inner voice. But what if she was feeling overwhelmed?
Could she be struggling and have trouble voicing it?
What if Mom just needed a little more patience and time to appreciate all that tea being spilled (a.k.a. ‘gossip’) last night? After all, we know people with dementia can still enjoy their fair share of good jokes and stories.
Here’s an over-simplified explanation of what could be happening (if dementia is the culprit).
You know that old computer in the basement? It takes a while to power up.
The connections aren’t as fast as your laptop or phone. And it slows to a crawl if you type in too many commands at once.
There’s a lot of informational load on the brain when you’re communicating. And if there’s something that weakens the connections inside the brain, then information processing can become more difficult.
Common communication challenges with dementia can include:
• Keeping up with conversations: Chit chat can flow at a pretty fast pace
• Understanding words: They may have lost the meaning of certain words
• Finding the right words: It takes time to identify the right words to use
• Mislabelling or word swapping: Uses incorrect words (like calling a 'fork' as ‘spoon')
• Distractions: Background noise, such as a busy restaurant or multiple conversations happening at once, can affect their focus
• Delayed responses: They might respond to something said minutes earlier, after the conversation has already moved on
This is why people with dementia can feel isolated, and why relationships can become more distant.
It’s not often due to a lack of interest or effort from the person with the disease.
This could why you could notice things, like…
• They don’t tell stories or share in conversations like they used to
• They repeatedly decline your invitation to get together
• They get stressed or anxious leading up to, or during, a social event
• They sit off to the side or stay quiet at an event
• They may withdraw from their usual social activities
• They say they want to go to an event, then want to leave right after they arrive
The good news is…
You can play a big part in helping people with dementia maintain their voice at the table. Whether they need more understanding, compassion, or time to respond, here are some practical strategies.
“My Dad used to be the one to initiate all the toasts at our family dinner and take center stage with his stories. Now, we just need to be more patient and quiet when he wants to speak.”
You can help people with dementia be heard.
Here are some practical tips to help communication flow a little easier:
1. Give it a minute: Patience is key. Try again. Allow time to process information and respond.
2. Ask Yes or No questions: Try, “Are you hungry?” versus “What do you feel like for lunch?”
3. Offer choices: Instead of, “Where should we go today?” try asking, “Should we go to the farmer’s market or go to the park?”
4. Minimize distractions: Create a more zen environment by reducing background noise and avoiding crowded spaces.
5. Try smaller group get togethers
6. Try using visuals: Pictures can help when sharing memories. “Here’s Sam, the lady we’re going to meet for coffee.”
7. Heads up on hearing: Just because someone with dementia isn’t speaking doesn’t mean they can’t hear or understand you 😊
8. Watch for cues: Body language and facial expressions can say so much, can’t they?
9. Use these easy cards: Need more patience or empathy when you’re out? Grab these to help you on the go
Being compassionate and creating space for people with dementia to tell you what they really think can help you stay connected and strengthen your relationships.
There could be some fun connections and surprises along the way, too.
Like in these local examples.
“When we go out, I’ll ask my Dad, ‘Would you like this or that?’ from the menu. Sometimes his answer will surprise me, but he’s happy with his choice.” Gerald
“My Dad never liked my sister-in-law from the beginning, just family drama :O So when she and my brother separated years later, Dad would retell the story of the moment he knew they ‘should never have gotten married!’ It was his way of showing support for my brother at a difficult time.” Katie
Dementia can affect so much more than memory. And everyone deserves to have a voice that is heard.
You can help ensure that no one feels left out, and that social connections become stronger, not distant, over time.
From the team at Alzheimer Calgary :)
Learn more at free upcoming workshops
Having more complex communication challenges? Talk it out with our team
Download this card to help others understand what’s up when you’re out in the community
Note: Communication challenges alone are not conclusive evidence of dementia symptoms. If you are concerned about any of these signs in yourself or a family member, please consult your doctor.
