Sam believes in visiting no matter what

Wise beyond her years, Sam knows the importance of visiting.

She reflects on her experience with dementia from two of her grandparents, her Grandpa Doug and Grandma Janice (each representing a different side of her family). Grandpa Doug passed away when Sam was just five years old.

“I remember little pieces with him, family vacations and whatnot. He had this massive corn garden in the back.”

Grandma Janice was in her life up until Sam was 23, when she passed. "When we learned about her diagnosis, I was 11 and had just moved to Calgary from Vancouver."

She was the organizer, the one on top of dates

Grandma Janice would forget to write things in her trusty calendar on the dining table, and she would never forget to write down something in there. She’d forget to turn the lights off. It was so out of character for her, it flew up a flag for us to look into it further."

"When I really started to notice changes, was when we’d go back to visit her in Vancouver a couple times a year. The time that passed became more apparent. She’d ask me the same question in the morning and then in the afternoon. The next visit, it would be slightly bigger things. She’d ask questions she would normally know the answers to, like 'What grade are you in? How old are you?'"

Sam recalls her Grandma being frustrated at first with her memory slips. "As the disease progressed she accepted it more, almost as if she knew she couldn’t change that. And she couldn’t figure out how to fix it." 

Sam was grateful for how her parents communicated things

"My parents always gave us tons of time to talk about our feelings. They would say, 'She’s still your grandma, she still loves you. Deep down she still has those feelings in there.'"

A couple times, my Grandma thought I was my mom.  She called me by my mom’s name on a FaceTime call, and talked to me as though I was my mom. Those are hard to hear and hard to deal with when they happen. I’d get emotional. You have to remember their memories of you sometimes change, and they might be the long term ones from many years ago. A lot of people say I look exactly like my mom when she was younger. Maybe that’s what she remembered."

My parents would tell me, ‘She still knows who you are, it’s just that you’ve grown up. She may not recognize you’ve grown up that much.”

Despite the memory issues, Sam saw her Grandma's heart

"She didn’t remember what I was studying in university, or the details, but she cared enough to ask. I took more from that than anything. She still cared and wanted to know about me.

My Dad was always a big advocate saying ‘just talk to her.’ We would call every Sunday night. That was the push I needed to not squirrel myself away. To me, it didn’t feel like much, but it compounds as you go. Even if it’s a tiny visit or short phone call, something is better than nothing."

If you accept it for what it is, things change for the better

As Sam puts it, "I learned that they’re not trying to forget. This is the disease and there’s nothing you can do to change it. You’re going to be happier. They’ll be happier. They’ll be less stressed and frustrated because you’re less stressed and frustrated. It leads to more enjoyable visits, more fun, and happier feelings."

They learned to go with the flow.

Sam and her family learned to accept the memory lapses and try just working with it in the moment.

"You don’t remember where your keys are? Again? We'd giggle about it and turn it into a scavenger hunt, saying, 'OK, let’s go look for them again!'"

Since then, the Alzheimer Calgary Walk and Run has become a family staple.

Like the ham that tempts their tastebuds on that same Thanksgiving weekend.

"I got involved about age 9, in my Grade 4 class. I spoke to my class and did a fundraiser for the cause, got to speak to the local newspaper. We've been involved ever since. It gives me the feeling we can do something about it. We can’t change what they’re going through, but we can turn it from grief and frustration into something positive, like raising awareness. And that’s what Alzheimer Calgary does a lot of, is raising awareness."

‍Sam shares a powerful moment of clarity from one of her visits

“She used to watch me and my brother a lot, and we’d go down to Ambleside beach. One time I asked her if she remembered anything about that. She went off and told this story perfectly, how she’d push me around in my stroller, and we’d go on these massive seesaws. She used to protect me, pushing away the seagulls who came too close. It made me very emotional.”

Even though her grandma’s memory wasn’t always there, Sam always felt it was essential to go see her.

‍“I visited her for her and I visited her for me.”

“For me she was never gone, she was still there. I wanted that time, and for her, maybe she might not have remembered me being there that day, but I know she’d remember the feeling of people visiting. The emotions still stayed.”

Today Sam enjoys the fond memories she takes forward with her. Whether it was time spent in the garden, sharing Sunday dinners, or family get-togethers on long weekends, it meant something.

Sam embodies a fierce and energizing spirit, something likely passed down from her grandparents

Having completed her kinesiology degree already, Sam has now finished her education degree. She’s living her dream of teaching Phys. Ed. in junior high schools.

Looking back, she feels good about the time she spent together with her grandparents, despite their dementia symptoms. “Even if we weren’t always talking during our visits, or talking about the same things, my Grandma was a constant figure in my life. She had a very calming and strong presence.”

‍This year, Sam will be running for both grandparents

Of her grandma, she shares, “She was present for most of my childhood, and loved my brother and I so much, she was willing to do anything with us. She made time to play with us, even when she was in her senior years! I remember her sitting in my room as a kid, gossiping about my first crush - and she would keep that secret.”

Of her grandma's dementia symptoms, Sam shares, "At times there were days when she would ask out of the blue, 'how’s so-and-so doing?'”

Sam runs the 10K each year at the Alzheimer Calgary Walk & Run in memory of her grandparents.

Save the date - Sunday October 12, 2025!

Photos show Sam growing up with her Grandpa Doug and her Grandma Janice. In the garden, at the beach, and visits with family along the way.